Have you ever found yourself 3 seasons deep into some mind numbing Netflix series, snacks by your side, unwilling to leave your bed for the day?
Do you ever find yourself unhappy with how you look? Staring at the mirror, sucking in your tummy, touching up your makeup, and not truly happy with how you look?
Nope? Me Neither.
Ever scrolled through Instagram, jealous of the beautiful destinations that all of the models with perfect bodies take. Thinking to yourself, “I’m gonna get up early tomorrow and go to the gym, two hours a day and I’ll look like that.”
Well, if I’m completely honest, and honesty is the best policy, I’m totally guilty of that. And if you are too, that’s totally okay. But you know what’s not okay? Being more unhappy than you are happy with your life.
I’m not perfect, and I do get sad every now and then, but after battling depression all through out my teenage years I can proudly say that I am madly in love with life (as confusing as it may be).
Believe me when I say that it took years of hard work and trial and error to be able to outway the negatives with the positives. So I want to share three tips that helped get me here.
1)Put down your phone, get out, and be mindful.
I used to spend a lot of time inside on my computer and on my phone, watching youtube videos and scrolling through social media feeds, and while there is nothing wrong with any of this, there is something wrong with being totally consumed by it. Moderation is key, next time you find yourself totally engorged in your favourite series to binge, press pause, get up and get out of your house for a little! Remind yourself that there are people around you, make eye contact and look up from your phone. Be present in the moment and surround yourself with people you love.
2)Get to the root of the problem.
Why do I find myself so unhappy with my physical appearance? If I think that “I’m not skinny enough, my nose is too big, I have too much cellulite” it’s safe to assume that I’ve set a standard that I expect myself to meet. After much consideration, it became clear to me that it stemmed from something so basic; comparison. Here I was, following tons of beautiful, skinny models on social media, envying them for every aspect of their laid out lives and in turn hating myself for not being the same. So what is the solution to this? To delete all of these accounts? No, social media is impossible to avoid nowadays, some jobs even ask you for your Instagram account to see how you manage your platform. A wise woman once told me, social media is what you make of it. Unfollow accounts that do nothing but harm your self-esteem. What we don’t realise sometimes is that these models pose oh so elegantly in perfect lighting, and then go through and edit the crap out of already beautiful pictures. I’m not bashing on that what so ever, I’m just trying to say that when we see these bodies and pine for them, we don’t realise that even the women in the pictures can’t attain these beauty standards that they put out. Next time you scroll through your Instagram feed try and filter through the accounts that either add positivity to your life and the accounts that make you yearn to have what you do not. Maybe clean up the accounts you follow and create a better space for your psyche.
3)Stop caring and be yourself, unapologetically.
The last step is kind of a no brainer, but it is the most important. It sounds bad to say to stop caring, but what I really mean is be selective about the things that you care about. Obviously, care for family and loved ones, care about things such as your values and morals, but stop caring about the little things. Who cares what people think of you? Life is too short to spend pleasing others. Step out in that bold lip colour, or oddly designed pants, you don’t have enough time to waste thinking about what others will think about you. What is the worst that can happen? The world isn’t going to end just because Jessica thinks you are too brash. Jessica probably judges everyone, and in reality, she’s probably scrutinising others because she does not feel happy with herself. But that is not your problem to worry about that. The second I accepted the fact that most people don’t care about what I look like, and those who did don’t matter, the lighter I felt in life. I felt that a weight had been taken off my chest, and I was free to fly.
I’m not perfect in any way whatsoever, I still compare myself to others every now and then, and at times I find myself dwelling over comments that people make, and I definitely spend a lot more time on my phone than I’d like. But by making a conscious effort to remind myself of these three values, I’ve come to find the happiness that I didn’t think I would ever have, and if you try you might just find some too.
Comment down below if you have any tips that have helped improve positive living in your experience!